How to deal with a lazy husband? We are both working parents; how do I get my husband to help me with household chores?
My husband doesn’t do anything around the house, how do I convince him to stop being lazy and look for a new job?
My husband is lazy, how do I get him off the couch and get him to take me out on dates?
If you are witnessing the signs of a lazy husband, then you might be heading towards a lot of struggles.
Find out what to do when your husband is lazy and how you can deal with your husband’s laziness.
Put an end to the damage that his lazy attitude is causing to your marriage, personal lives, and your child’s future.
Divide household chores
Is your husband in complete denial of the fact that he is lazy and that he does not help you around the house? It could be because he doesn’t have any specific tasks to do.
For dealing with a lazy husband, make a small timetable, and allocate certain tasks for each day of the week to your husband. Put this timetable up on the kitchen bench where he can see it.
Write your husband’s name against ‘Taking the bins out’ on the night before your city council collects bins from the neighborhood.
Use this timetable to allocate different tasks, including clearing the table, vacuuming the carpets, clearing the deck, taking the dishes out of the washer, etc.
Allocating responsibility will make it easier for you to show your lazy husband that he has actually not done anything. It will not leave any room for silly arguments.
Ensure equal contribution
If you both are working full-time jobs, there is no reason why your husband shouldn’t have an equal contribution to household chores too.
Don’t give up on persuading him to get his feet off the living room table after dinner and helping you clear out.
Reason with him, throw tantrums, and argue until he budges from his comfortable spot on the couch.
Make it very clear to him that since you both are working full-time, he must help you with cooking, cleaning, and all other chores at home.
Double date with an active couple
One of the biggest benefits of double dating is that it exposes you to activities that you may never have thought of doing.
Take advantage of another couple’s active dating life by going on double dates with them.
Let the other couple decide where you guys want to go and what you want to do.
For all you know, they may suggest outdoor picnics and activities that will force your lazy husband to see all the fun he was missing out on all this time.
Push your husband to the gym
You can drive your man’s laziness away by slowly bringing a natural change in his habits and lifestyles.
The first step to do is to get your lazy husband a gym membership. If he has never worked out before, sign him up with a personal trainer for a few basic sessions.
Looking at buff bodies in the gym will most likely motivate your lazy husband to lose weight and get in shape too. This will spark a revolutionary change in his lifestyle, eating, and sleeping habits.
Don’t blame yourself
Don’t make the common mistake of accepting part blame for your husband’s laziness.
You must remember that his lazy attitude is something that he needs to fix. It is not something that is your fault.
Whether it is helping you with chores in the house or the fact that he is not getting off the couch and sorting his employment issues out, don’t entertain any of your husband’s claims that you have made him lazy.
The slightest of self-guilt will make you feel that you are partly to blame for something that is not your mistake in the first place.
Encourage him to go out
Hooking up with friends to play ball on fixed days of the week is something that many busy professionals do.
You can encourage your lazy husband to do the same thing. Get him to call some of his old buddies or workmates and fix a day when they can meet and shoot some hoops.
The idea behind doing this is the same as other suggestions – getting your lazy husband off the couch.
Playing sports with friends will also get him out of his shell and help him become the same confident man you fell in love with a decade back.
Go out with your friends
If your lazy husband refuses to budge from his comfy sofa chair in the living room, go out with your own friends and their spouses.
Take a lot of selfies with your iPhone and show them to your husband when you come back.
Seeing you have fun with other people may light up a spark of jealousy in him.
Your hubby will feel like he is missing out on sharing good times with you.
He may feel like accompanying you the next time you go out with your friends.
Plan fun outdoor dates
If your husband’s laziness is making you both spend your weekend indoors doing nothing but watching TV, turn your dating quotient around by planning dates in which you need to step outside the house.
Couples who play together stay together, so start by planning something that is within your husband’s interest domain.
For example, if he likes sports, get tickets to the Friday night game, so you both get a chance to go out and do something together.
Make this a regular thing by finding activities that will naturally cheer him up and actually make him look forward to stepping out of the house.
Once it becomes a habit, you can move on to stuff that interests you.
Instill awareness in him
Whether it is laziness to find new work or laziness to help you with stuff around the house, your husband’s deadbeat behavior will set a terrible example for your children.
Remind your lazy husband that your kids are likely to mimic his behavior when they grow up.
Warn your husband that his lazy and deadbeat ways will affect the future of your own children.
Ask him if he wants to carry the lifelong burden of guilt if your kids grow up to be exactly like him.
Make the right comparisons
When you lament about your husband’s laziness, don’t make the mistake of comparing him with another guy. This can lead to never-ending arguments because hearing his wife compare him with another man will hurt his ego.
Instead, compare yourselves as a couple to another couple.
If you know a husband-wife pair who are always out and about, take their example and point out to your husband how you feel sad about the situation in your marriage.
Never argue in front of your kids
You will leave lifelong mental scars in the minds of your children if they see you and your husband arguing and fighting about his lazy ways.
More importantly, you will give your children excuses to be lazy too.
For example, if you get angry at your son for not cleaning out his bedroom, he may calmly reply, ‘Dad doesn’t do it despite you yelling at him all the time. Then why should I do it?’
Avoid making sweeping statements
Like most other issues in life, your husband’s laziness is best dealt with in a direct and specific manner.
Use specific examples instead of vague and sweeping statements when you have an argument with him about his lazy behavior around the house.
Here are some examples.
- Instead of saying ‘You never help me with the dishes’ say ‘Thursday was your turn to take the dishes out from the washer, and you did not. You have been doing this every time.’
- Instead of saying ‘We never get to go out because you are always hooked to your stupid video game’ say ‘We haven’t gone out since the last two Fridays because you were playing video games. It is the same story this weekend too.’
- Instead of saying ‘You never take me out on romantic dates’ ask him ‘When was the last time you took me out?’
- Instead of saying ‘You have not tried hard enough to find a new job,’ say ‘You have handed in just two new job applications. That is not enough.’