7  mins

Updated: 20 Dec, 2019

8 Red Flags in Choosing a Partner That You Shouldn’t Ignore

You’ve been together for almost a year or maybe more than a year – nice right? 

Though, sometimes you can’t help but notice certain behaviors or things about your partner that makes you think if you are in a healthy relationship

How knowledgeable are you about the red flags in choosing a partner

Are you already seeing the signs yet are you choosing to ignore them? If you are someone who has “doubts” in your relationship then read through.

The importance of red flags in choosing a partner

We can all say that we have at least one previous relationship that didn’t work out. 

There can be a number of reasons why it ended and we can’t all enumerate them but there is one thing for sure – it didn’t work out. 

Each time we enter a new relationship, it’s a big risk.  

After all, we really don’t know this person long enough and sometimes, there can be obvious red flags in choosing a partner that we simply cannot ignore. 

A relationship red flag can be considered as a warning – a sign for you to look out for. Truth is, if a person wants to be in a relationship, they will make sure to show off all their good traits. 

As they say, “put your best foot forward” and make sure that you impress the person you like. 

However, once you’re in the relationship, you’ll start seeing the real person you love. Some people can already notice red flags in relationships when dating, and that’s a good thing. It means that before you invest in your time and feelings, you’ll already know if it’s time to stop. 

Relationship red flags and deal-breakers are important signs to watch out for. 

We don’t want to be in a toxic relationship and being vigilant with these signs will help you – a lot! 

Most people who are in a toxic relationship find it hard to let go because of the invested time and feelings. Even if they are already seeing red flags in a relationship, they can’t let go of the person.

Sorry to break it to you but that is not “love”. So, know the red flags in choosing a partner and be wise in your relationships. 

Relationship red flags and deal breakers

If you are not yet sure about the red flags in choosing a partner, then let us help you. 

If you are already having doubts about what you are seeing, then check these early red flags in relationships.

1. Communication problems

Do you have to make a huge effort just to communicate with your partner? 

Does this person try to avoid your efforts at all costs? 

We already know how important communication is when it comes to relationships, right? Take note that this is one of the red flags in choosing a partner

A person who doesn’t want to communicate with their partner won’t have a good relationship.  

2. Trust issues

Do you always fight because your partner doesn’t trust you

Do you always fight because your partner doesn’t trust you? 

From going to work to having lunch with your friends, your partner seems angry all of a sudden? Ask yourself why. This is one of the red flags in a new relationship. Being a little jealous is okay, but being paranoid to the point that your partner no longer wants you to have a life of your own is not.

3. No one likes this person for you

Okay, ever wondered why your family and friends seem to dislike the person you love? 

Nothing personal but, it seems that they are seeing something with this person that doesn’t feel right. How many times did you defend your partner with them and only to end up thinking, are my family and friends right all along? 

4. Controlling

Do they control you and your decisions

Does your partner always want to get his way? 

Do they control you and your decisions? Do you feel that you no longer have a voice in your relationship? Then, this is one of the red flags relationship warning signs that you should not ignore.

If you are in a controlling relationship red flags relationship, you’re not in a healthy partnership or marriage.

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5. Irresponsible

How is your partner? Does this person know their responsibility as a partner, as a husband or wife and even as a parent? 

Do you know deep inside that your partner is irresponsible? If yes, then it’s a sure listed on the red flags in choosing a partner. Think of it, would you really want to be in this type of relationship? 

6. Insecurity

Do you often get the feeling that you’re the only one who values the relationship? 

Do you sometimes feel that you don’t even know where you stand in your partnership? If you always need to feel or seek reassurance from your partner then maybe there is something important that is lacking. Do you think that a healthy relationship will be like this? 

7. Addiction

Addiction of any kind is not good in any relationship

Addiction of any kind is not good in any relationship. 

In fact, if you see this, it’s already one of the major red flags beginning a relationship that you should never ignore. From being addicted to drugs, substance abuse, gambling, and even with sex-these are not ingredients of a healthy and fruitful relationship. 

8. Abuse

This is the ultimate deal-breaker in any relationship. Of all the red flags in choosing a partner, this should already seal the deal. No second thoughts, no what-ifs. If your partner abuses you in any way, sexually, physically, and emotionally, then it’s time to let it go! 

What do you do now?

Watching out for red flags in choosing a partner can be really helpful, especially if you are planning on settling down with this person. 

Remember that what you allow to continue will continue. If you can no longer imagine yourself with a person with these traits – then don’t. These are labeled as red flags for a reason and we all know what we should do. 

Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Take Course

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.




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