Telling somebody that you love them is a big step, and it is not at all unusual for a guy to feel a bit shy when it comes to sharing those three big words. However, sometimes cold feet can be mistaken for apathy, and it can be hard to tell if and when a guy you are really into is ready to get serious.
The good news is that there are handy ways you can use to read between the lines and get a more accurate picture of whether he feels the same way about you that you feel about him or vice versa for that matter! By tapping into verbal cues, body language, the way he communicates and his actions, you can also pick up on some of the key signs that he wants to say I love you.
Here is what to look for:
Don’t Forget Those Subtle Verbal Cues
Sometimes words can be more meaningful than they seem. And sometimes even what people don’t say can say a lot.
These indicators can help you read between the lines to tell you he might be gearing up to say I love you.
The L Word Comes Up in Other Ways
Even if he doesn’t outright say it, if he’s really into you, little verbal hints are likely to reveal that he’s getting ready to let the ‘l-bomb’ drop sooner rather than later. Sometimes, even if he isn’t actually saying it, he is still saying it, if you get the drift. Essentially, you are probably going to start catching hints of those three big words in a lot of the things that he says.
For example, he might start gently testing the waters by taking on a teasing or light-hearted tone while suggesting that “You know you love him.” If this is the case, deep down the answer to this question is probably more serious to him than it may outwardly appear. So if you want to get the ball rolling, don’t be shy when it comes to telling him your true feelings.
That said, it could also be more subtle. You might just catch yourself engaged in conversations that are more mushy and cheesy than you ever thought possible or you might notice he always uses ‘we’ pronouns to talk about the two of you together. Bonus points if you catch him stuttering to try and find words to describe how he feels when he is around you without using the word ‘love’. He might also be super quick to express how much he ‘likes’ you or ‘likes spending time with you.’
Let’s face it. Even if the timing is totally perfect, it can sometimes just be hard to get those big words out in the open. If this is the case, and you are starting to feel a bit antsy about beating around the bush, why not step up and take that three-letter plunge yourself? After all, the signs are certainly pointing to the fact that he wants to say ‘I love you.’ Understandably, he is probably just a little nervous. Somebody has to do it though, so if you really love him and want to be able to express it to him openly, all the power to you. Somebody has to break that ice!
You Start Catching Notable Pregnant Pauses in Your Conversations
One of the more telling signs that he has three words that he is hoping to find the courage to insert into that pause is if you start to feel some heavy dead air right after you say goodbye to each other. After all, people consciously use pauses to communicate, so he might be trying to tell you that there is something he wants to say.
You might notice that he stands in your doorway for a moment longer after you send him off to work or you might notice he stays on the line for a few extra seconds after you say goodbye on the phone before he hangs up. He may also just appear quiet or brooding for random short moments when you are hanging out.
This kind of behavior can sometimes be a little confusing, mostly since on the surface it seems a little awkward. If you are feeling thrown off my some funny pauses or other nervous speech patterns there is probably nothing to worry about. On the contrary, these goofy moments are usually a good sign. He might just be trying to build up the courage to take your relationship to the next level.
He Gives You Compliments to Makes You Feel Good About Yourself
Is your guy always saying the type of nice things that make you blush? Well, chances are he just might be looking for an opportunity to build to saying ‘I love you’. After all, it always feels great to hear a person that you are romantically involved with openly express how they see you.
If he can’t seem to hold back on complimenting everything about you, from the way that you walk to the funny little giggle you save for special occasions, chances are he is wearing those rose-colored glasses and doesn’t plan on taking them off any time soon.
Don’t be fooled though, just because he is always seeing the best in you doesn’t mean that you don’t absolutely deserve to receive all these wonderful compliments. Not to mention complimenting somebody is one of the easiest ways to show people that you really care. After all, you are a great catch, and if he wants to say I love you he shouldn’t be scared to hold back on expressing all those fantastic things about you that he just can’t get enough of either!
Body Language Doesn’t Lie
Sometimes the way that people verbally express themselves doesn’t match up with what their bodies are saying. So what should you believe? Well, since body language is largely subconscious, it is more likely to be a direct reflection of how somebody really feels. In other words, body language doesn’t lie.
That’s why these non-verbal cues all qualify as some telltale signs he wants to say I love you.
He Showers You in Kisses
Sure, all couples kiss. But if your kisses have a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ epic silent movie intense romantic type quality, chances are there is something there. However, it’s not just about the way he kisses you. You also want to pay attention to how often he kisses you.
Maybe it’s pretty clear that he just can’t seem to keep his lips off you. Don’t forget that since love knows no limits, you might also find that he doesn’t just go for the lips. Your forehead, your fingertips, the nose, your ears, your hand, maybe even your big toe, if a guy loves you and is thinking of telling you, there is probably no limits to when and where his kisses may land. Another sign he wants to say I love you is if those kisses tend to linger.
So if you are feeling yourself showered in kisses and affection when you are around him and really enjoying returning the favor, you might want to start preparing yourself for hearing him say the big words sooner rather than later.
You Catch Him Staring at You
If you have a funny feeling that somebody is always staring at you, you may just be right. Admittedly, catching him staring at you from all angles can sometimes come off as a little bit creepy. However, if you find yourself looking over to catch his eye, again and again, it’s a pretty clear sign that he not only finds you highly desirable but also that you are on his mind.
Here’s the thing. Deciding that you love somebody is a big move, emotionally speaking. Pop culture can sometimes make us think that love is something that can happen overnight. In reality, a strong relationship is built upon a foundation of hard work and commitment. This is why seeing signs that he is taking the time to carefully consider how he feels about you is probably a very good sign.
Another more subtle cue to look out for is the actual way that he looks at you when you notice him gazing in your direction. Looking at each other per se is not a big deal. People look at people all the time, and it certainly doesn’t preclude the fact that they love each other.
However, when people want to express their love, they will probably be inclined to convey a more intense or dreamy type of stare. Sometimes it’s all in the eyes. After all, eye contact can actually stimulate and reinforce feelings of love and affection. If he’s into you, he’s probably also making an effort to make eye contact, and you may be seeing something that feels a bit more than casual in the way he looks at you in particular.
The point is that if you happen to spot a certain glazed-over, yet focused look in his eyes every time you turn his way, he might just be thinking about whether now is the right time to tell you how much he really cares.
He Wants to Get Close to You … All the Time
Not everybody loves to cuddle, and it isn’t about gender. After all, there are lots of men out there who like to cuddle more than women. Indeed, how much or little a person likes to get close is usually simply about how much personal space feels healthy for them.
That being said, whether you are a total cuddle fiend or prefer to have a bit more space to yourself, it’s probably going to feel a lot better if you are cozied up to somebody who you are really into. Of course, there is no reason to think that it is any different for your guy.
This means that if he is always looking for an opportunity to cuddle in close, in private or in public alike, he is probably dealing with some strong feelings for you as well. After all, cuddling is a great way to create a stronger sense of sexual desire or all-around affection for a person, so if he is always snuggling up to you, chances are he is invested in keeping that flame burning strong.
Keep in mind that different people show their affection in different ways, and there is no need to freak if you feel that he isn’t always getting close. Sometimes something as subtle as holding your hand or touching your arm can be just as meaningful and sexy as a big full-on squeeze. However, if you do notice him cuddling in more than usual, this can be one of the signs he wants to say I love you since physically getting close can help to foster loving and affectionate conversations.
His Smile Says It All
Okay, now for a test. Does the following scenario sound suspiciously familiar?
Imagine that you are chatting away about some everyday stuff and look over to notice that your guy is sporting an ear to ear grin. Meanwhile, you may be left wondering why he is smiling like that, especially if you didn’t actually say anything funny? Is he laughing at you? Is there something on your face? If this is the case, don’t stress.
Indeed, if you catch him smiling when you are around him, there is a good chance he is thinking happy thoughts about you and probably just can’t help himself from letting it show. This also means that he may be inclined to say I love you sometime in the not-so-distant future.
You might also expect to hear him express all those happy feels that he’s having such a hard time holding in. He might say things like “I feel so grateful to have found you” or other statements that betray that he firmly believes that in finding you he has stumbled upon nothing short of a pure stroke of wonderful luck and is feeling genuinely joyous about it! Naturally, you should be feeling the same way too.
Communication is the Heart of a Healthy Connection
If you have great communication with you guy, you are probably both invested in building the type of relationship that will last.
Good communication is about more than just words though. The following are some of the indicators that he is working toward communicating on a deeper level and probably wants to say I love you to prove it.
You Get the Sense He Sees the Real You
You might not really feel able to put what you are sensing into words, but if he is really into you he is probably going to want to try to peel back those layers of social niceties that we all use and get the bottom of who you really are. In turn, you will probably get a distinct impression that he sees the real you, or in other words, that part of yourself that you tend to keep reserved for those people in your life who you truly trust.
Even better, if he is putting in the effort to really get to know you on a deeper level, chances are that he really likes what he is seeing, or better put, what he is really seeing! He will also probably start taking note of all those little things that shape your day-to-day interactions like the way that you act around people who you may feel a little less comfortable with, for example. Remembering important dates and events that you share with him is also another telltale sign that suggests that he really cares about what matters to you.
After all, if he is thinking of saying I love you, he is also probably going to be looking for his own sense of proof that you are willing to be open to intimacy. The fact that he is able to throw back the curtain and see you for who you really are may also mean that you are willing to be open and vulnerable enough to let him in, so kudos to you too! Looks like the feelings are mutual!
He Talks Openly About All His Feelings
Emotional intimacy is a key ingredient in any type of healthy relationship that you want to build to last, and this means that both partners have to be willing to open up and share their feelings. If one or both of you feel too uncomfortable to talk about what you are really feeling in any given moment, you will also be incidentally holding back on revealing your true self, and it is very hard to be in love with somebody if you don’t actually know who they are!
This is why if you find that your guy is willing to share what he is feeling with you in an honest and open way, he might be gearing up to take things to the next level by saying those three big words you have been waiting to hear. Keep in mind that if he is truly willing to be emotionally vulnerable, he should be willing to get down to the nitty-gritty and not just talk about those feelings that are all sunshine and roses.
As previously mentioned, sharing those positive feels is a great thing, especially when he makes it clear that those warm-fuzzy feelings are directly related to how he feels about you. However, life isn’t all butterflies and rainbows, and if he is being fully emotionally honest than he will tell you about those not-so-fun feels as well, like, for example, how he felt embarrassed after tripping and falling on your doorstep.
Providing you are willing to be just as emotionally honest with him as he is with you, you might want to start preparing yourself to hear the l-word because true emotional openness is one of the telltale key signs that he wants to say I love you. After all, love is by nature emotional, and you have to have a strong foundation in place if you are truly to share these types of powerful feelings with each other.
He Texts You Throughout the Day, Every Day
Are the texts always rolling between you two, day and night? If he is always texting you when you are apart, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he is probably thinking about you a lot, even when you are apart.
Some noteworthy texts to watch out for are: “I miss you” texts and “I wish you were here” texts. If he wishes you were there every time he experiences something exciting, enjoyable or moving, it just might be love. If he can’t get you off his mind, and you the same, then logic tells you he may be inclined to drop the love word sooner rather than later.
Why is texting such a tell-tale sign? Well, essentially, it is one of those things that is often a lot more fun to do with somebody who you genuinely enjoy talking to. This is why we tend to text some people back more quickly than others. Likewise, little cues like routinely quick responses can also be one of the signs he wants to say I love you someday soon.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words?
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and sometimes they can be a precursor to your guy saying what he really wants to say. The point is, if he is showing it, chances are he is feeling it too.
Here are some of the key actions that can tell you he loves you without even having to say it.
He’s There Through Thick, Thin and Everything in Between
So this one is really a must for any healthy relationship. If you want to build a stable sense of trust that will keep your flame for each other burning strong, then you need to know that he will be there for you when you need the support.
After all, being deeply in love is about a lot more than sex. If you are really digging each other, you are going to be willing to put in the energy needed to make it work, and this means being emotionally supportive of each other through the easy times and the hard times alike.
This means that if you notice that your guy is always there to lend a helping hand with those boring day-to-day errands or a shoulder to cry on when you are feeling down, he is also probably committed to being in it for the long haul. Likewise, if he is willing to work to be there for you, he will also probably be willing to push past the awkwardness and tell you that he loves you.
He Wants to Spend Lots of Time With You, But Not Too Much
Have you noticed that he is always looking for excuses to be around you? Or maybe he will brush off his friends just to spend more time with you? Essentially, if he wants to be around you, he is into you, and this means that he will probably also be considering saying I love you to prove it.
Of course, every healthy relationship has boundaries, and it is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect your guy to want to be with you at all times, especially after that initial honeymoon phase is over. Speaking of the honeymoon phase, as great as it is, end it must if you want to continue to build a strong foundation for the future.
This means that you should also be paying attention to whether he is willing to respect your boundaries. Hanging out all the time can be fun, but we all need some time to unwind and connect with ourselves too. If you find that he makes it clear that he loves hanging out with you, but also knows when to give you the space you need, chances are he’s a keeper!
He is Continually Proving That He Cares
This can manifest itself in a number of ways, but what really matters is that you are constantly and continually feeling that he cares about you. Maybe he goes all out to make each and every date night special and unique, maybe he goes out of his way to cook for you or maybe he just sends you thoughtful little texts to brighten up your day.
Every couple has their own rhythm, so no need to sweat the details. If he is using simple gestures to help remind you over and over again that he wants to make you happy, he is also telling you in not so many words that he is serious about your relationship. Of course, saying I love you is a key step in building any strong relationship, so if he is always doing things to remind you of how much he cares about you he will probably take the big plunge and say I love you at some point in the near future too.
Things Are Moving Quickly
Does he freely leave your stuff lying around his place? Did he buy you a toothbrush to use when you stay at his? Have you already met his mother even though you’ve only been dating for a month? Are you already exclusive even though you haven’t been seeing each other for very long? If things are moving at what can sometimes seem like a break-neck speed, there is a good chance that you are both feeling pretty sure about liking each other. In this case, feel no need to beat around the bush!
Not all healthy relationships move fast off the start, and sometimes moving too quickly can do more harm than good, especially if one or both partners aren’t ready or willing to be fully emotionally open with each other. That being said, a relationship that seems to be progressing at the speed of light can be a good thing too, providing there is some healthy moderation involved. This is often one of the telltale signs he wants to say I love you soon. After all, if everything has been progressing pretty quickly, he probably won’t be inclined to hold back when it comes to saying I love you either.