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Marital Infidelity - Reasons Why Do Married People Cheat?

Reasons why married people cheat! Short answer, because they can. Every relationship is based on mutual love and affection. It is not necessary to be together 24/7/365 and keep track of every little activity your partner is doing.

Long answer, the reason why married people cheat is that they want something more than what they have. It’s just human nature. In/fidelity is a choice. It is and always have been. Loyal partners do not cheat because they chose not to, it’s that simple.

So why do people cheat in relationships?

Cheating is a dirty business. It is also rewarding and exciting. Just like bungee jumping or skydiving. The cheap thrill and memories are worth risking your entire life.

It may sound like an exaggeration, but marital infidelity is putting your entire life on the line. A single mistake can change your life. Divorce will traumatize your children, and it’s expensive. If that isn’t risking your life, I don’t know what is.

But a lot of spouses still cheat, if we look at the underlying causes of infidelity, some of them are worth putting your life and marriage at risk, or so cheaters believe.

Here are the common reasons why do married people cheat.

Self-discovery

Once a person has been married for a while, they start feeling if there’s something more in life. They start to look for it outside of their marriage.

Fear of aging

At some point in their lives, married people compare themselves to hearty young people (including their younger selves). They may be tempted to see if there’s still juice in the old dog/bitch.

Boredom

Been there, done that, with your partner and back. Things start to look boring once everything becomes repetitive and predictable.

They say variety is the spice of life, sharing your life with just one person is a contradiction of that. Once people start to crave something new, it opens the door to infidelity.

Misaligned sex drive

Its apparent during the teenage years that some people want sex more than others. It’s a biological difference known as libido or sex drive. Something in the human body really does crave sex more than others. 

If you marry someone with a much higher or lower sex drive, your sex life is going to be unsatisfactory for both parties. Over time, the partner with the higher sex drive will look for sexual gratification somewhere else.

Escapism

The mundane life of a dead-end job, a mediocre lifestyle, and unremarkable prospects of the future lead to depression, emotional disconnect, and anxiety. Neglecting marital duties comes shortly after.

Just like the self-discovery excuse, people start to look for their “place” in the world outside of marriage. A delusion based on their broken dreams they never had the courage or grit to work for in the past.

Emotional deprivation

Emotional deprivation

The day-to-day life of juggling child rearing, career, and chores leave very little time for romance. Partners start thinking about what happened to the fun person they married, the person who is always there to support them and have the time to cater to their whims.

They eventually start looking for that missing fun and romance somewhere else. It is the most common reason why do married people cheat.

Revenge

It may surprise you, but revenge is one of the more common reasons why people cheat on their partners. It’s unavoidable that couples have conflicts and disagreements. Trying to solve it sometimes only makes it worse.

In the end, one partner will decide to lash out their frustrations through infidelity. Either to relieve themselves or to deliberately piss off their partner through cheating.

Selfishness

Remember a lot of partners cheat because they can? That’s because they are selfish bastards/bitches who want to have their cake and eat it too. They care very little about the damage to their relationship as long as they get to enjoy themselves.

Deep inside, most people feel this way but are responsible enough to restrain themselves. Selfish bastards/bitches feel that the responsible group are just cowards who won’t give in to their true desires.

Money

Money problems can lead to desperation. I don’t even mean selling off themselves for cash. It does happen, but not as often to be included in the “common reason” for cheating. What is common is money problems lead to the other problems mentioned above. It leads to mediocrity, arguments, and emotional disconnect.

Self-Esteem

This is closely related to the fear of aging. In fact, you can consider that reason as a self-esteem issue in itself. Married people feel they are tied down to their commitments and long to be free.

They feel they are just living through life without living life. Couples see others enjoying their lives and want the same.

Why do people cheat? those listed above are the most common reasons. There are little gender differences. According to Interfamily Studies, men cheat more as they age.

But that statistic is deceiving, The graph goes higher as people age. That is not likely true. It probably just means people are more honest about their extra-marital activities when they get older.

If that study is to be believed, the older people get, the more likely they are a cheating spouse. It also shows that it is more likely that the man is cheating on his wife.

But if you look real close, the cheating husbands statistic jump only past the age of 50. That is menopausal age and women lose their sex drive during that time and that could explain why married men cheat at that age.

Meanwhile, Mel Magazine has a different interpretation of the study. They believe that before the age of 30, it’s more likely that wives are cheating on their husbands. The article gave plenty of examples of why women cheat on their husbands.

The wife cheating on husband trend is likely to increase as more women become empowered, independent, earn more, and step away from traditional gender roles.

The feeling of being the “superior income-generating partner” is one reason why men cheat on their wives. As more women earn their own keep and have less fear of being left behind, the wife infidelity trend becomes more and more apparent.

The reasons why men and women cheat are the same. However, as more women become self-aware and step away from the “kitchen sandwich maker gender role,” more women, statistically, find the same reasons (or rather, the same thought process) as valid to commit marital infidelity.

Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

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