We’ve been pals and enterprise companions since 2000, operating and growing BestMarriages, one of many largest {couples} counseling facilities within the Vancouver, Canada space.

But it hasn’t all the time been this fashion.

Before FinestMarriages, we have been each a part of a counseling group in Vancouver referred to as Lighthouse Therapeutic Services. After studying John Gottman’s ebook The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Darren burst into the workplace in the future and mentioned, “This is the way to go.” It is smart and, as a man, it appears sensible and never too “touchy feely.”

Lawrence learn it and agreed. He had been a marriage and household therapist for 10 years and, though he felt like he was serving to {couples}, there was one thing lacking. Darren was new to the sport, had no concept tips on how to assist {couples}, and was attempting each technique on the market with out a lot success.

At the time, we have been each getting skilled as enterprise coaches, and the massive deal again then was to a) construct a model about one factor and b) you shouldn’t attempt to be all the things for everybody. We jumped on this bandwagon and informed our group that we needed to give attention to being a marriage and relationship counseling middle.

Our companions disagreed. They didn’t assume that {couples} counseling solely might be worthwhile as a enterprise. It triggered a little bit of a divorce and we quickly parted methods with our colleagues. FinestMarriages was born.

We needed to be enjoyable, sensible, and provocative, so our first tag line was, “Feel like trading in your marriage for a new one? Now you can. Change your marriage without changing your partner.”  

We constructed an internet site, purchased billboards, wrapped our automobiles, and put big indicators outdoors our workplace constructing. We needed to make {couples} remedy accessible, regular, and never a scary expertise.

Then we needed to get skilled, and quick, particularly since we have been now calling ourselves “marriage therapists.” So we hit the street to Seattle for Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. We had simply completed Level 1 Training on DVD, virtually on the way in which there.

We went on to finish Level 3 Training and obtained our certification, formally making us Certified Gottman Therapists. We then “Gottmanized” all the things in our follow from the evaluation course of to the interventions we used. It labored so effectively and we felt far more in management and competent as therapists.

Couples beloved the brand new strategy, too, and our enterprise grew rapidly. We’re simply two common guys who love the Canucks and Seahawks, so we appeal to shoppers (particularly males) who could in any other case assume that counseling isn’t for them. Humor and storytelling are an enormous a part of what we do.

Once we established our follow, we had a burning need to carry the Gottman Method to Canada on a grander scale. Our motto has all the time been “Go big or go home,” so we grew to become Master Trainers for The Gottman Institute. In the final 19 years, we’ve introduced the Gottman Method over 100 occasions throughout Canada, together with {couples} workshops and medical trainings.

We typically journey with our wives who assist us current The Art and Science of Love {couples} workshops. When they’re not with us, we joke that we’ve grow to be nice roommates and pals, staying in additional resort rooms collectively then we’ve got with our companions.  

But working collectively this lengthy hasn’t been not like a marriage. We have our perpetual issues, and we’ve had to make use of the Gottman Method to work via them. For instance, we had a disagreement just lately about whether or not or to not provide a coaching in Montreal.

Lawrence desires to increase and maintain spreading FinestMarriages throughout Canada. Meanwhile, Darren likes to remain near dwelling so he can pursue his hobbies, like 4 wheeling and tenting on weekends. And the coaching was going to be over Darren’s favourite lengthy weekend, Victoria Day.  

We every dug in and defended our positions. If we have been enjoying the sport Risk, Lawrence can be all around the globe and Darren can be stockpiling sources in a single nation. Eventually, Lawrence requested Darren to just accept his affect. He supplied to have an additional vacation in Montreal after the coaching to have some enjoyable. Darren is all about enjoyable, so he was in, and we went for it.

Well, it’s fortunate we did, as a result of the coaching is promoting out, and our wives are becoming a member of us, so now it’s enjoyable and never worrying.

The Gottman Method hasn’t simply been the key to the success of our enterprise and enterprise relationship. It’s additionally been the key to the success of our marriages, which have each lasted over 25 years.   

Darren and Lawrence might be presenting The Art and Science of Love in Seattle for The Gottman Institute on April 13-14. Click here to register.

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