Handling a cheating spouse is one of the most frustrating things in a marriage.
Knowledge of a partner’s infidelity comes with a feeling of rejection, bitterness, hopelessness, betrayal, doubt, and distrust. There’s usually this strong gut feeling deep within you that says your spouse is a cheat.
And when you summon up the courage to ask them about it, they’ll deny it and make you feel like you’re crazy. So it becomes a bit tricky to figure it out.
How do I know if my spouse is a cheat?
If you’ve got any cause to ask this question, then chances are that your spouse is actually having an affair. Well, don’t make such hasty conclusions yet.
You don’t want to ruin your marriage with mere assumptions. So, to be better convinced, you may want to watch out for these red flags:
- Have they suddenly begin spending long hours at the office?
- Are they asking for privacy or space to “figure out his/her feelings”?
- Do they spend so much time with a particular new friend and when asked, say “we’re just friends?”
- Are they suddenly getting concerned about their looks and trying to improve their physique?
- Is your spouse being overly secretive and protective of their cell phones; calls and text messages?
- Are you experiencing any sudden change in the sex life?
If you have more yes than no answers to these questions, then you may want to watch closely. It is most likely they are having an affair.
Why do people cheat on their spouses?
Of course, it is heartbreaking to discover you have a cheating spouse in marriage.
But the big question is why do people cheat on their spouses?
To help you out on why your spouse might be cheating on you, here are some reasons why people tend to cheat:
1. Lack of sexual satisfaction
This is arguably the most common reason why people cheat in a marriage. And women are mostly involved in this. Although everything else may look good, if your sex life is in shambles, watch it.
Your partner may start seeking sexual satisfaction from elsewhere.
2. The quest to explore more sexual encounters
While most married couples wouldn’t admit to this, a lot of people actually take on someone else just to get more of that sexual experience. More than what their spouse offers.
3. A decline in love for a partner; having strong feelings for another
Some partners hide behind this mask when caught in extramarital affairs.
They claim the feeling they once had for their spouses died and they found love in another.
4. Search for emotional validation outside your spouse
When partners fail to constantly acknowledge each other’s needs within the relationship, it could make them seek for such validations from outside.
5. The desire to pay back a perceived cheating partner
Some partners would get out of their way to revenge their partner’s perceived infidelity.
They could suddenly start up a romantic affair with a colleague at work; just because they suspect their spouse does same.
6. The quest for a new adventure
Though married, some people are never satisfied with the ‘status quo.’ They want to try something new. They want an avenue to measure their sexual prowess.
So, they try out new sexual challenges every day – ensuring the next surpasses the former.
7. Once a cheater, always a cheater
Studies have also validated the accuracy of this claim.
Most partners get into a relationship with their already cheating partner, believing they’ll change over time. No! Most cheats remain cheats all their lives.
8. Finding out your wife’s a cheat
So many men go as far as hiring a private investigator to confirm their doubts.
While the cost of the investigation is dependent on the nature of the investigation required, surprisingly, it is speculated that men spend an average of a couple of thousand dollars to hire an investigator for a surveillance investigation job.
According to Ken Childs, 20 years detective veteran and CEO of Paramount Investigative services – a Los Angeles private investigator – “men are more involved in investigating their wives’ extra-marital affairs.”
Although in marriage men are known to cheat as much as – or even more than – women do, yet they seem to be hiring these private investigators more than the women. And in most cases, their suspicion turns out to be true – 80% of the time.
What happens after you’ve figured out your spouse is a cheat?
In most cases, nothing! Yes, nothing happens.
Of course, infidelity in marriage doesn’t automatically mean divorce. Although the trust would’ve been severely damaged, the betrayal could be really killing, and all the thoughts could be a real torture to your soul. Yet, you can still get back and save your marriage.
If your relationship is built on a solid foundation and friendship, you can make it work again. No matter what you’ve been through in marriage, you can fix up the pieces again, become a better partner and make your spouse stick to you and you ONLY.